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Nintendo are giving away free Wii gloves, Wii johnnies’s, Wii condoms, Wii rubbers - whatever dirty little name you can come up with to call ‘em. I think somebody at Nintendo HQ is a fan of toilet and penis humour. They call the console Wii and then offer to give out free rubber gloves for gamers’ Wii remotes?!

The Wii remote johnnie’s protect your remote from grubby hands and soften the blow for those who are still sending projectile Wii remotes into walls like crazy bastards. I personally think these Wii johnnie’s are a waste of plastic. But that didn’t stop me from ordering one! I lied and said I needed four. But just as I was about to click the ’submit’ button I saw:

“We reserve the right to request evidence of ownership of Wii Remotes for which a Wii Remote Jacket is requested”.

So I played it safe and just ordered two. Just in-case Nintendo requested evidence that I own four Wii remotes and then send representatives to my house to confiscate my Wii for telling lies. I don’t even need a Wii remote johnnie. I sure as hell don’t need two. But they’re free, so why not?! Go get yours!

• Wii owners in the UK & Ireland order yours here!
• Wii owners in Europe order yours here!
• Wii owners in the U.S and Canada order yours here!