So the overgrown Piranha who wreaked havoc in THE best 3D platform game ever that is Super Mario Sunshine (that was me being sarcastic) will appear as a boss in Super Smash bros. Brawl. And before you ask - Yes. That is Princess Zelda and Princess Peach locked up in those cages. Yet again, the silly bitches have gone and gotten themselves kidnapped. They flew into the fray like they were actually going to help, but end up getting locked in cages. I hope for Mario and Link’s sakes that the Princesses put out REAL good for the amount of times they’ve gone to their rescue.

There have been quite a few cool updates on the official Smash bros. web site. So allow me to re-cap them all for you…

• Petey Piranha does the kidnapping gig
• Turn up your speakers it’s K.K Rider!!
• Yoshi’s final smash gives him wings!?
• Diddy Kong enters the arena ready to throw his shit in your face
• The attack of The Subspace army
• Link’s new special moves (which are alot like his old ones)
• Peach is back (and she’s bought a new dress)

If like me you have no new games to play on your Wii and it has been switched off for the past 2 months, then you’ll actually be excited to have a reason to finally switch your little white box on. Because Nintendo have released a system firmware update which brings in some welcomed cosmetic changes.

Just when you think Nintendo couldn’t be any sexier with their layout, they go and chuck in more sexy. The Wii shop has been giving a bit of an overhaul, whilst the Wii menu now has a snazzy LCD clock, along with the weather channel panel displaying the current weather and the news channel displaying headlines.

The biggest addition of the update however is that the Wii now supports USB keyboards. I don’t actually own a USB keyboard, but I’ll damn well go and buy one now! I’m gonna hunt around computer fairs for a nice little white one. I’m not about to kill my Wii’s sexiness with an ugly cream coloured keyboard or some big black Logitech one.

Some bad news about the new update however is that it disallows the use of Freeloders discs. Yep. So to all you GameCube title importers, you better unpack your GameCubes – because you can’t play your shit on the Wii anymore. At least not for the time being.

All in all, a cool firmware update! Now where are the blasted games!? *grips Wii remote and grits teeth like a crazy person*

Wii firmware update [CVG] / Freeloaders don’t work [Kotaku]