When it shits on Wii, it blasts out in a stream – just like diarrhea. Wii already missed out on Marvel VS Capcom 2 – which is bad enough given the console is actually powerful enough to run the game. Now it’s missing out on Tekken 6 and Soul Calibur IV. Sure, these games wouldn’t be able to run on Wii. But that didn’t stop Namco developing them for the PSP. Yes… Tekken 6 and Soul Calibur IV will be releasing for the PSP!!

Tekken 6 for PSP will just be the standard version of Tekken 6, and not the updated version: Bloodline rebellion which will release for consoles later this year. But the game will not be some badly cut down affair. It will feature the full Tekken 6 character roster, character customization, new items not featured in the arcade version of the game and ad-hoc play.

I lied a little when I said Soul Calibur IV was heading for PSP. The PSP soul game is titled Soul Calibur: Broken destiny. Not a direct port of Soul Calibur IV, but a game which will retain many of the gameplay elements of IV. Returning characters from IV will also have their IV move sets and costumes. The game will feature new game modes and also a couple of new characters. The only new character to be confirmed so far is Dampierre. Who looks like a money swindling, knife wielding gay pimp from a Dicken’s novel.

Namco may as well fly a blimp over Nintendo, Kyoto which reads “F**K Wii!” The Wii flogs more units than the PSP and is more powerful, yet loses out on 2 high profile, blockbuster beat ‘em ups to it! Looks like that PlayStation love still runs deep. Real deep.

PSP owners, rejoice! You just got a couple of good games to look forward to. I guess a Wii port wouldn’t be out of the question entirely. Namco Bandai could always just port the PSP version. It’s not like the Wii version would look THAT much better. (Tee-hee!)

First Dark resurrection and now Bloodline rebellion. Namco seem to have caught the bug that had Sega re-release Virtua Fighter 4 and 5 in Evolution and R forms. The new version of Tekken 6 features 2 brand new characters: a dude named Lars Alexandersson and Alisa Bosconovitch and also 2 new stages. Players will also have access to new accessories and have the option to customize the hairstyles of characters. Splendid!!

Lars is some crazy dude who wants to create a new era and has a full name which makes him sound like a member of ABBA. And Alisa doesn’t really have much of a story, though her surname name bares more than a slight resemblance to Dr. Boskonovitch’s. It’s unknown whether or not there’s a relation between the two, but it’s highly likely. Both characters sport a futuristic style and look like they belong in an RPG’s. Lars’ design is somewhat decent – we can work with it. But Alisa looks like a Phantasy star reject. I’m not sure what it is with Namco and their re-release female characters. First Lili and now this Alisa chick. Both look like crap compared to the staple females Nina, Anna, Julia (in the denim mini skirt, cowboy boots and waist coat combo), Xiayou and cool recent addition Asuka.

Tekken 6 doesn’t have a PlayStation 3 release date as of yet, but it goes without saying it will end up on the system at some point and that Bloodline rebellion will be the version of Tekken 6 which gets ported. It will be interesting to see if Namco will let Xbox 360 owners in on the Tekken action; given that Namco spread the Soul Calibur love across both systems and that Sega did the same with Virtua Fighter 5.

Look out for this game in your local arcades. If your arcades are anything like the one I go to, the Tekken 6 machine will be surrounded by guys who eat and sleep on the machine and won’t let anybody else play it.

[The magic box]

Namco have unveiled the latest fighter to enter the king of iron fist tournament and his name is Bob. Seriously. I’m not joking! The newest addition to Tekken 6 is a fat overweight white dude named Bob. I could laugh and curse on just how awful a character Bob is, but I’m too in love with him. Bob is awesome. Of all the new fighters in Tekken 6 who so far include: a girl that dresses like a boy, a gypsy woman and a matador with a bad perm – Fat, cord and slack wearing Bob is the best. Hopefully Bob will get his own spin off game and a range of plush dolls, key rings and cell phone charms – all in his wide girthed honor.