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Not content with being Japan’s Cultural Ambassador to China, Hello Kitty apparently also wants to help protect Chinese PC’s from virus and hackers with this Sanrio Hello Kitty branded Antivirus and Firewall. As if the great firewall of china needed aid from The Mouthless One. Just imagine Hello Kitty popping up every couple of hours informing you that your subscription is about to expire.

I wonder if its security levels go from pastel pink to super hot pink. How unbearable! However I would be more than willing to pay for a fight between Hello Kitty and Norton Fighter.

[Hello Kitty Hell]

The Mouthless One has landed yet another title in her amazing resume, the Japanese Tourism Ministry just named Hello Kitty the tourism ambassador to China.

Japan hopes that the character’s popularity with children and women will help increase the flow of tourists to Japan.  Sanrio would have you believe that it’s diplomatic mission to China began months ago when a Hello Kitty inspired musical opened in Chinese theaters. However I believe it all started, and on a bad note, years ago when they started mass producing millions of pieces of Hello Kitty merchandise in China.

Imagine how many thousands if not millions of people in China have spent countless hours manufacturing stuff with the face of The Mouthless One! To them this new ambassador might seem more like a tyrant, a cute, pink, glittery tyrant.

[Associated Press]

Dear readers, I know we’ve seen ridiculous Hello Kitty products before, unsettling ones, bizarre ones, but I think this will be the first time we truly see a creepy one. Brace for impact!

These are the hello Kitty Contacts, a work of perfect evil. The people at Sanrio have finally figured out how to make you see hello kitty in everyone’s face. I seriously pity the guy who has to date a girl like this, instead of looking deep into her eyes and see into his own soul through her, he now sees the Mouthless One staring forever at him, thrusting his soul into the deepest, darkest, cutest abyss.

[Hello Kitty Hell]

Hello Kitty is tired of being pimped, pillaged, raped and plastered on just about everything. There is no end to how far people will go to run Hello Kitty into the ground. She would tell you how much pain she’s in herself, but the poor bitch has no mouth.

Those two “models” wearing those t-shirts would not be smiling if they could feel Hello Kitty’s pain and shame.

[Famitsu]

Some years ago, more than I care to remember, the Internet suffered a great loss. One of its most iconic products (those you could only get on the Internet, that is) was no more. That was the fate that the legendary Hello Kitty vibrator met. The intertubes wept.

But no more! The good guys at Jlist let us know that the mouthless one is still alive and kicking, or er… vibrating.

The new model is still as colorful, cute and eerily kinky. Comes in 6 colors and goes for $18 USD, everything is right in the Internet once again.

[Jlist]

Holy shit, its finally happened, they have created a real Hello Kitty! What has science done?! I knew the Japanese should have never learned about genetics. Oh wait what? Its not real? Oh, its just a mask, a really humiliating mask, at that.

Who-sucks reports that this Official Sanrio Hello Kitty cat mask is on sale in japan for the really reasonable amount of 18,900 yen (roughly 160 US Dollars). That seems like just the right price to remove any shreds of dignity from any cat. More pics of shamed cats at Who-sucks.

[Who-sucks]

Oh Japan, when will you accept you are but a pawn of the Sanrio corporation? This is the latest in the neverending list of Hello Kitty products, a Nec LaVie Laptop sporting The Mouthless One covered by really expensive Swarovski crystals. This little baby will set you back ¥199,500, or roughly $1600 USD, perfect for that geek girl in your life, you know, the kind that stays up until 3 a.m. coding or searching for that one rare doujinshi. Which that girl in the picture seems to do, she could use some sleep.

[Engadget]

The Mouthless One and the gargantuan empire behind it known as Sanrio keep churning out overbranded merchandise. Not even cars are safe, so it isn’t really a surprise that they’ve come out with a Hello Kitty portable DVD player? The device costs about $500, comes with a 3.5 inch screen and has enough power juice to watch one episode of The Lord of The Rings without the extras. Perhaps you can mount it on that Kitty Car for bonus Kitty rep.

[engadget]