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We shouldn’t be shocked by the various guises, ways and fashions in which Hello Kitty gets pimped. You’d be harder pressed to find something she hasn’t had her faceless mouth all over. But still; Kitty finds ways to make us feel inner shame, sickness, disappointment, yet also a great deal of commendability for her knack for rolling with what ever is popular at any given time. Lady Gaga is currently the world’s ‘it girl’ on the music scene, and Hello Kitty is right there along with her. Do not knock the hustle of Hello kitty. Ever!

[Gaga daily]

Well we had the controversial Hello Kitty contact lenses, then we had the face mask vixens. So it was bound to happen. The Hello Kitty face mask vixen. With eyes as penetrating as the Hello Kitty ones and makeup that challenges the Hello Kitty MAC ad, this woman rules fearlessly over the rest of the face mask idols!

Oh yeah and I guess she’s also protecting everyone else of her flu. That’s awfully nice of her, isn’t it?

[Tokyomango]

Nothing is sacred and safe from Hello kitty anymore. Nothing! As we can see from the picture, the Jedi force is strong, but Hello kitty’s force is way stronger.

Whilst I’m sure we’d like to shake a fist at the cosplayer who bastardized and raped Darth Vader in the name of Hello kitty. This picture has been photoshopped from the image of a cosplayer donning an all whtie Darth Vader costume. So instead we can shake our fist at the sod that bastardized and raped Darth Vader in the name of Hello kitty with the aid of Photoshop.

Though as much as it pains me to admit it…I do find this cool.

Could you imagine if this is how Darth Vader was dressed when he told Luke he was his father? Having had your hand chopped off would’ve been the last of your worries. It’s bad enough you find out your father is an evil bastard. But then to know he has a Hello kitty fetish and that he rules galaxies in white and pink with a picture of a mouthless cat who wears a bow etched onto his chest?! It’s just too much. Way too much.

[Hello Kitty hell]

There is no shortage of things Hello Kitty. And for obsessed fans, any empty space can be covered by this lovable kitty. Jump to Shanghai, China. Available to the public, this Hello Kitty castle contains everything HK. You’ll find clocks, accent pillows, door pulls, even themed food. If Hello Kitty was our overlord, her throne would exist here.

Now if we can only castle guards wielding these AR-15s, with matching side arm…

[China.org.cn]

[Geekologie]

Its true that not all bizarre comercials featuring cosplay have to be Japanese, but they will sure as hell be Japanese inspired. Like this deliciously weird ad for Hello Kitty MAC Cosmetics featuring a goth-loli-ish model in a dream sequel, where she follows a black cat through a conceptual uterus only to be gang raped via interpretative dance by a bunch of men in black Hello Kitty S&M attire.

I cant even begin to imagine how the sold Sanrio on this idea. Maybe its just The Mouthless One subtly telling us how she will rape us all, and how we’ll still love it.

By the way, Hello Kitty fans, if you want that black leather Hello Kitty plush, it actually exists.

I heard that this game had been in development for quite some time now, but finally we have our first official trailer for Hello Kitty Online, and boy is it a doozy. Enjoy getting screeched at by some of the most sacchirine, high-pitched voices imaginable as various Sanrio characters reveal all the great features of this upcoming game! It’s “the cutest game world ever!”

Admittedly though, it looks to offer a lot: battle, customizable houses, farming, cutesy miniature versions of famous international cities like Beijing and Moscow, and in-game blogs and video for community networking (note the stereotypical scene girls shown toward the end). I doubt this will go down in history as a masterpiece, but rest assured I have my eye on it.

[MMORPG.COM / via N4G]

Not content with being Japan’s Cultural Ambassador to China, Hello Kitty apparently also wants to help protect Chinese PC’s from virus and hackers with this Sanrio Hello Kitty branded Antivirus and Firewall. As if the great firewall of china needed aid from The Mouthless One. Just imagine Hello Kitty popping up every couple of hours informing you that your subscription is about to expire.

I wonder if its security levels go from pastel pink to super hot pink. How unbearable! However I would be more than willing to pay for a fight between Hello Kitty and Norton Fighter.

[Hello Kitty Hell]

The Mouthless One has landed yet another title in her amazing resume, the Japanese Tourism Ministry just named Hello Kitty the tourism ambassador to China.

Japan hopes that the character’s popularity with children and women will help increase the flow of tourists to Japan.  Sanrio would have you believe that it’s diplomatic mission to China began months ago when a Hello Kitty inspired musical opened in Chinese theaters. However I believe it all started, and on a bad note, years ago when they started mass producing millions of pieces of Hello Kitty merchandise in China.

Imagine how many thousands if not millions of people in China have spent countless hours manufacturing stuff with the face of The Mouthless One! To them this new ambassador might seem more like a tyrant, a cute, pink, glittery tyrant.

[Associated Press]

Dear readers, I know we’ve seen ridiculous Hello Kitty products before, unsettling ones, bizarre ones, but I think this will be the first time we truly see a creepy one. Brace for impact!

These are the hello Kitty Contacts, a work of perfect evil. The people at Sanrio have finally figured out how to make you see hello kitty in everyone’s face. I seriously pity the guy who has to date a girl like this, instead of looking deep into her eyes and see into his own soul through her, he now sees the Mouthless One staring forever at him, thrusting his soul into the deepest, darkest, cutest abyss.

[Hello Kitty Hell]

Hello Kitty is tired of being pimped, pillaged, raped and plastered on just about everything. There is no end to how far people will go to run Hello Kitty into the ground. She would tell you how much pain she’s in herself, but the poor bitch has no mouth.

Those two “models” wearing those t-shirts would not be smiling if they could feel Hello Kitty’s pain and shame.

[Famitsu]