This isn’t exactly a new entry in our long series of cosplay sells TV ads, but it is a derivative of one. Kyowa, a brand of backpacks in Japan, is taking a page from Aeon with their latest TV ad. In Kyowa’s ad we see a foreign aerobics instructor doing an energetic routine while repeating a tagline and… weird creatures dance in the back.

Aeon’s ad featured a cute anglo-japanese idol doing a dance along with little kids dressed as bears in the back. Perhaps when it comes to Japan and backpacks you better not mess with the formula. It’s almost like mad libs!

Foreign female dressed as NOUN does VERB while little PLURAL NOUN dance in the back.

I propose: Foreign female dressed as a zebra does pantomime while little ducks dance in the back. I’d buy that backpack! Now its your turn guys, show us your ideas in the comments!

[Japan Probe]

Its true that not all bizarre comercials featuring cosplay have to be Japanese, but they will sure as hell be Japanese inspired. Like this deliciously weird ad for Hello Kitty MAC Cosmetics featuring a goth-loli-ish model in a dream sequel, where she follows a black cat through a conceptual uterus only to be gang raped via interpretative dance by a bunch of men in black Hello Kitty S&M attire.

I cant even begin to imagine how the sold Sanrio on this idea. Maybe its just The Mouthless One subtly telling us how she will rape us all, and how we’ll still love it.

By the way, Hello Kitty fans, if you want that black leather Hello Kitty plush, it actually exists.

The above ad is for Giga Pudding, a giant mold that allows you to make a gargantuan piece of flan, not only is the song catchy and repetitive enough to make you want to try it but the ad also lets you know that if you eat Giga Pudding (which is apparently made of smaller, cannibalistic puddings) you will:

• Make every children’s party a hit.
• Turn that boring brainstorming meeting into a room filled with super genius execs.
• Give you a wave of time-slowing pleasure with every bite.
• Get your girlfriend really shocked.
• Feel true love.
• Make you a handsome bastard with a twinkle in your eye.
• Plus it seems if you dont eat him, Giga Pudding wont have any remorse about crushing your city.

I’m sold! How about you? Now time to watch that again for the 67th time…

[Tokyomango]

For lack of a more complex or nuanced term, I can really only describe some of these new ads in the aforementioned fashion. Among the many bizarre and undoubtedly well-financed sights are sexy kung-fu terrorists, a giant robot praying mantis, and some scantily-clad girls who are lounging around with an octopus with a skull for a head. We all knew that sex sells in America, but tentacles? Perhaps this is part of some larger “weird Japanese fetish awareness” project that Konami is spearheading.

Supposedly they are all fake adverts for the fictional private military companies in the world of MGS4, and some of them actually touch on the futuristic themes and kinds of technologies we can expect to see in the game.  What was accomplished is the generation of an increased amount of hype and discussion over the game’s release, so I guess he’s doing something right.

[Kotaku / via Destructoid]

In this Japanese TV ad you will see a woman getting nearly fondled by a mass of tentacles while she applies itch medicine to them. You wont find that so weird, proof of how jaded you have become by Japan. Worse even, you just might recognize this is as a reference to the earliest tentacle hentai in the world, a wood carving from 1820 called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. I wish I could say the ad is the weirdest thing in here, but no, its the fact that its not weird at all anymore. You’re probably wishing there was a second part where they actually get down to business, aren’t you? What have we become?

[Pink Tentacle]

The last time we saw a Japanese anime TV ad it was designed to give you that warm fuzzy feeling. This time, however, its so trippy and confusing that you’d have a hard time trying to figure out what on earth sells with that. Not surpisingly its a fashion ad for Luis Vuitton. 

Awesome design, flashing colors, trippy patterns and a psychedelic panda, any more awesome and it would suck, but no, its perfect.

[Tokyomango]

Sure, it looks a bit fan made but it’s still damn good! It’s so overdramatic that it’s hilarious! And come on, a flying baby headbutting a group of guys? Hit play to see what I mean.

Bullets and their casings spread through the streets. Teeth placed in ashtrays. Corpses stuffed into garbage cans. Graves with feet sticking out. Hostages tied to chairs or bounded and thrown on the floor. If only I could find a reason to do all of these without seeming deranged or homicidal.

[AdArena]

Check out the advertisement for Killzone for the PSP. They’ve set up a red laser light that would move around the black drop of this adshel, like a sniper’s laser target. Of course, if you get into it’s line of fire, you could be marked as a “victim.” Tee hee.

You and your party board the elevator, the long lift to the top floor doesn’t help your nerves. What if you are not ready? Maybe you should have taken that side quest the old lady offered you at the last town. The extra exp definitely wouldn’t be a frivolity. Before you know it you are already at the door, you know there’s no stopping now, its coming. The boss battle is here, literally.

Yeah, bet you didn’t see that one coming. This is an ad for Jeanne D’ Arc, the PSP turn based strategy RPG released last year in Japan. The ad might be old, but its gold, real gold I tell ya’!

[The Reclusive Revenant]