One Minute Review: Kite Liberator
Monday 31 March 2008 @ 8:38 pm | By Ivan 'Nahu' Lozano 13 CommentsOk guys we’re going to try something different today. I watched Kite Liberator this afternoon and I just felt like it needed to be reviewed, so I created this one minute review of Kite Liberator. I’ve wanted to try out the whole one minute review concept for a while and so here it is. If you guys like it we might do more, so speak up!
P.S. One minute is more of a guideline than a rule, actual review is 1:18 plus intro and outro. Transcript after the break.
Transcript:
Kite liberator is the much expected sequel to Kite, the controversial 1998 anime about a sexually abused girl turned assassin. The movie featured amazing violence scenes, compelling characters and lots and lots of fucking which resulted in massive amounts of win. You’d think it would be easy to follow the same formula for success once again with Kite Liberator but NO! To put it gently Kite liberator is a watered down version of its predecessor, to put it bluntly it fucking sucks!
Kite Liberator takes the original formula of the sexy jailbait + epic fights + fucking (=win) but cuts the fighting in half and completely removes the fucking which results in complete mediocrity.The animation is choppy at best, with lots of cheap CGI but that’s expected for a low budget movie. Character design is still quite good although everyone’s skin shines like like in motherfucking Bible Black.
The story follows Monaka, daughter of an astronaut, who works at a maid cafe and just happens to be an assassin. Then one day…. you know what? Fuck this, I can sum up the plot real fast.
Moe Moe Maid -> fan service -> Alien Rip off -> BONE GOLEM! -> Desu Desu -> BONE GOLEM! -> Heartbreak -> and you guessed it more motherfucking BONE GOLEM! The plot has more holes than Witch Hunter Robin and its a sad excuse for a sequel to Kite. I give it 7/10, a mediocre popcorn flick to watch if you have nothing better to do or if you have a bone golem fetish.
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Abraham 'Velcor' Duarte
David 'KidKobun' Bruno
Ivan 'Nahu' Lozano
Random J
Sol
wow I thought 7/10 was pretty good, not bone golem desu desu bad
Also, I like the one-minute-review idea… it works for Zero Punctuation, and I can see how this would work even better for anime reviews.
Yahtzee rambles for 6 minutes though. There are a ton more one minute reviews out there.
wow, its kinda weird hearing your sweet sweet voice on a video, anyway, nicely done, but i believe that 7/10 is way too good for the way you say it sucks
Ok, imagine its rated from 5 to 10.
they removed the f***ing ????????? :’(
that was the main ingredient!!!! wht were the thinking
right on amjad mahfouz
WTF? you mean this flick wont be showing any skins at all? damn the only reason id get to buy this if it has a F***ckin scene!
are they gonna make a part two of kite?? because it just ended with her looking at the monster witch is really her daddy and then u went off that was the end. some body please tell me its a number two coming soon?
It only shows tits for about half a fucking second… FUCKING FAIL! What the fuck did the producers of this shit think we wanted to see? Shitty fan service that we could see on any goddamn harem animu? NO. We wanted jailbaits being fucked and loads of gore. (anyone who watched for the story is a faggot, btw.)
Also lol at desu desu eyes. I was thinking the same fucking thing.
I like the review. This was fun. I’ll have to check it out…BONE GOLEM.
[...] do-overs, Batman! It seems Yasuomi Umetsu, director and writer of the Kite and Kite liberator movies is writing a script for a sequel to Kite Liberator. Is he not content with ruining a good [...]
So I just saw it on ANN (subbed) and frankly that seemed like nothing more than a titanic “fuck you” by Umetsu (I guess that’s his last name) to people who wanted to see more Kite. It felt like he was screaming: “You violent pedos! How do you like this?!”
Ah well, maybe Saw–I mean Mukai, will join up with Monaka in the sequel.