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In this column I talk about the upcoming games covered in the industry press in the past week that I’m most and least excited about.

MINUS: Guitar Hero: On Tour

So far the hands-on reports of this game from various gaming news sources have been glowing, but I personally don’t buy it at all. The problem with rhythm games and American audiences is that we’ve been raised on mediocrity for some time now, so much so that the standards have been skewed. While the flank steaks of Guitar Hero and Rock Band might be tasty in their own right, they just can’t compare to the exquisite fillet mignon of titles like Drummania and IIDX. To carry this analogy further, Guitar Hero: World Tour looks to be the equivalent of a White Castle burger; it’s portable and flavorful, but cheap and short-lived (it would probably also be best enjoyed high).

Truly successful DS games are those that use the strengths of the platform, making you tap, drag, and scratch your touch screen like a pissed-off cat. For example, the Ouendan series is such a hit because the gameplay would be inferior on any other platform. It’s a rhythm game designed with the DS in mind, and from that starting point makes something ludicrously fun. On the other hand, it’s obvious that On Tour was made as an afterthought cash-in to buy time before the Rock Band juggernaut might crush the franchise. Rather than thinking, “let’s make a great DS game,” they seemed to say, “oh shit, quick, find a way to port Guitar Hero to a console that can’t support guitar-shaped controllers.” While the game does use many DS features, the experience sounds embarrassing, unintuitive, and fucktarded. “Oh man, wouldn’t that be great if you could set the opponent’s guitar on fire, and then make him blow it out with the DS microphone?!” Did a caffeinated 9-year old come up with the multiplayer mechanics?

But the main thing I hate is that, as I hinted at before, the DS is an inferior platform for this game. Using the pick, you’ll lack the accuracy of the paddle on the guitar controllers; music on the DS has to be compressed and will sound grainy; and, you’re lacking the basic experience of guitar simulation. Pretending to play guitar on a fake guitar actually makes sense, but pretending to play guitar on a checkbook-sized piece of plastic would be like trying to play Wagner on a xylophone. The whole affair smacks of disappointment, and that’s why I’m giving On Tour the minus.

I’m not even going to comment on this trailer because it makes fun of itself all too well.

[GameTrailers.com]

PLUS: Far Cry 2

It looks like we’re finally going to get an open-world game that feels really open with Far Cry 2. The map is drawing comparisons to GTAIV’s, but the abundance of true open space on the savannah means taking cover from the enemy is going to be much trickier. Also promised is an insane amount of environmental action, like grass that burn and trees that fall (and can crush enemies!). Heightening the realism are day and night cycles, the need to sleep, and hapless animals that roam the landscape. 1up says that so far the Animals aren’t as interactive as they would hope, but I’m sure farther along the line they would play a bigger role (charging rhinos interrupting a firefight, anyone?).

Destructoid reveals some further juicy tidbits about the dynamic stories of the game world: “The story will configure dynamically based on who you’ve met in the game, who you’ve saved, and who has died. All of these Buddy characters can die at any point in the game and once they are dead, that’s it. Whatever story arch they were leading you into is now gone for good.” Having storylines change at the drop of a hat (or grenade) sounds pretty exciting. They also explain that weapon misfires and emergency first-aid maneuvers (digging a bullet out of yourself with a knife for instance) add further to the realism and gave a real sense of danger to the experience, something sorely missing in modern games.

All in all, early reports of the game are very positive and brimming with the same kind of enthusiasm I’m exhibiting now. While those publications didn’t talk about how well the game controlled, they had very few complaints, so I assume there weren’t any noticeable issues with mechanics. Considering how impressive the game is already, I can’t wait to see how it will play in its finished form. A big old plus goes to this title, for now. Oh, and did I mention that the game is gorgeous?

[1up] [Destructoid] [GameTrailers.com]